The Pain of Dreaming

When's the last time you woke up with tears in your eyes, from dreaming of a non existent reality, wanting nothing more than to turn back the hands of time to a part of your life when you were so cold that pain couldn't tear you apart from the inside out. I made the mistake of wanting to feel, something long forgotten, only to learn it would destine me to walk around living each day feeling so dead inside that finding any enjoyment in life is nothing but a calloused memory. Forever I will be haunted by the thoughts and dreams of something that should have been, but was torn out from under me. Why did I deserve this, pain and suffering rains down upon me, a never ending sadness. I am left drowning.